Hi! For those of you who don't know me, I'm Pete Klobucar, and well, this is my blog. Many of you may know me as the Croatian Gangsta, from all those years spent in chat rooms, on my website attempts, or wherever you may or may not have known me. Anyway, I'm 40, married again, father of the two most blessed little girls God ever put on this earth; but that's just my opinion. I have dozens of stories about both of them, particularly my oldest, Shelby, who is 10, and simply refuses, like me, not to make herself heard and understood. She's taken now to the art of drawing Manga characters, which, for those of you not in the know about the current habits of kids, are the latest media "thing" from Japan for the preteen set. Think of it as new-age Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and all I can say is, if it gets her reading, sweet, beautiful, love it. Her younger sister, Sydne, who's 7, aspires to be a chef, talks incessantly, it seems at times, loves numbers (where the heck did THAT come from? surely not me, OR her mother!) loves with everything in her, and despite what anyone else seems to imagine, has the most utterly orderly mind you can envision in a child her age.
Look at me! Not even a paragraph into this blog thing, and braggin about my kids. Anyway, as far as me, well, if you've never envisioned that intellect could conspire against you, that creativity could be a nightmare, at times.....welcome to my universe. I've always been smart, apparently, judging from everything I could ever possibly remember of being a child. I'm ADHD, according to the way it's monikered here in 2006, and only since my divorce have I made any attempt to effectively deal with it, which means Adderall XR, and a life I simply cannot seem to come to grips with. I'm not creative in the typical sense, whereby if I were stuck in a situation, I could MacGyver my way out of it, well, okay, maybe I could, but essentially.....I am about the creation of ART, so here I sit, attempting to make the most of what I've been before, which is, quite frankly, not much. I was a mechanic for 7 years, and simply cannot bring my body to do it anymore--it just hurts too damn much at the end of the day, and if you're not familiar with the idea of flat-rate, well, the short version is, if the work doesn't come in the door, you don't get paid, and if you're slow you don't get paid much. As a life, it just doesn't fit anymore.
There's more I could say, more I DID say, actually, but lost part of my post when something went haywire here. Suffice to say, I'm trying hard, for a lot of different reasons, to be who it is I am, because apparently, I'm not good at being anyone or anything else. Overall, it's a complicated thought, that I will scrutinize more, but I'm ADHD, and intelligent, I've spent time being marveled over by my peers, scrutinized by many, and pondered over, usually ending with the comment ADHDs are all very familiar with, "he's so intelligent, why isn't he doing better in school?" arrgh. Spent a lot of time just wanting people to leave me the hell alone, for a lot of reasons. I'm trying to change, really I am, and its a long, slow process, although my wife Martha, who by the way, is an absolute God-send, tells me I'm doing better than I was even when she met me in 2003.
More about her, my relationships, my anger issues and other stuff to follow....stay tuned.......