I don't consider myself to be particularly attractive, despite everything I've been told to the contrary. It's not like I make small children cry, God knows if that was the case, more tears would have been shed by now, I'm sure. But it ain't like I'm working at it either, as evidenced by the fact that I have occasionally missed the boat in keeping the ear and nose hairs trimmed, as I have mentioned on previous occasions. The reason I mention all this, is that last night, one of my female middle school students, one who has a reputation for spouting off with some of the most inane commentary I have ever heard from any human being, informed me she thought I was ugly. And beyond that, wondered, once again, what would ever lead me to leave the United States when Korea was, in her words, "very poor." I attempted to explain the fact that there were, in fact, not a bumper crop of jobs in America, particularly in Detroit, and that met with nothing so much as a blank, uncomprehending stare. The girl clearly doesn't get it, and has apparently been propagandized to the point where she never will. And left only to suspect, I'm thinking she's being pressured more to find a husband and not care about the world outside of Korea. Clearly, taking responsibility for herself is nowhere on the agenda. Which leads me to the other point, which is, that when she told me she thought I was ugly, I essentially didn't care. My thought to myself was something to the effect of, "If I was trying to get up your skinny, underfed a*s, I'm sure such an evaluation would be crushing to me. But I'm not, so it isn't. You're here to learn, as far as I'm concerned." I don't know how some of these women can recognize a man as married, and still believe him to be on some kind of Fu*ked-up shopping trip. I ain't comin home with anything but clothes and my Sony Playstation, and maybe some other odds and ends, and that's that. Ultimately, I think one of the big casualties of this trip may in fact be my clean-shaven look. I, of course, will not be the only one with an opinion on the subject, but at this point, I've had it up to here with being scrutinized, ogled and evaluated for mating potential. I'm past that point in life, I don't have to tell anyone who reads this that I'm past that point in life, but it's on my freakin nerves right now. I have a wife I love, and who loves me, I have kids who are the age of some of my students now, and as big as all that, the "chambers are empty," as I am so wont to say. I've done my bit for humanity, life is gonna be about it being good for *me* now. If I continue to shave, the gray will come as quickly and run as rampantly as it wants; God only knows what may have been in that hair color I got once, I'm sure as hell not doing it again at this point. Call me mistrustful, but hey, if the Koreans are going to be mistrustful of me as an American, (at least some of them,) I can play that game too. I don't like to, I don't want to, but I can.