The beat goes on. The special-ed work continues, in senses that aren't actually very much about real schooling; I've been working frequently now, in Dexter's Young Adult program, helping 18-26s get ready to, or be able to continue living, in group homes. Several are high-functioning, and thus relatively easy to manage, in some senses, others require your constant supervision, which can be draining. Now it comes to me, basically since I said yes, that I will be going through Washtenaw County's Court-Involved Youth program. I have no idea what that REALLY means, if these kids are juvenile cons, custody wards or a mix of both. Gads. Am I really striking anyone as that tough? That intimidating? That much that anybody thinks I can honestly hang in a racket like that? Does everybody else know something I don't, or does the idea that I'd go halfway around the world to find a job just paint me as that desperate? Or that willing to consume bugs? Whatever the reason, I can't say as I'm really too frightened. Maybe I should be. Maybe it really IS like I always say, that fear is for the unenlightened. Could just be sentient fear, I suppose, or just plain, old, having come this far. In any event, it bodes well for the work not sputtering in the middle of summer. I could do without such trauma, particularly where MY responsibilities are involved. Funny, too, I find myself asking what kind of judge of character my boss at WISD really is, although I'm thinking as an HR person in a field like this, she's gotta be pretty shrewd. Though, as happens in any such situation, I'm quite sure she gets feedback from her people in the district. She would seem to know. A lot still needs to happen, and I'm STILL not considering any further education in special-ed. I'm still looking at linguistics programs, because, seemingly, my love of words, and teaching is what's really overpowering. I was in one of my other districts recently, and my last class at the end of the day was an Honors English class. The regular teacher called on the phone while I was teaching, and I was flying high; these were unquestionably some of the best students I've had recently. It still works out to be where your heart is really at, I suppose, and one of the things I want to feel is that I'm really TEACHING, and really making an impression on these kids. Leading by example again, I suppose. And as I've said before, if I'm not capable of doing it every day for the two that I DID bring into this world, then perhaps a measure of all this is compensatory. I do it for all the REST of the kids in creation. Sorry, I have a hard time getting that feeling with special-ed kids. And if that seems self-serving, I'm sorry, but it's the truth as I know it to myself. More to come as this all unfolds.