http://www.katemcalpine.com

Martha clued me on this one, and I have already shared it with some young minds. That's what the real attraction is, although admittedly the response, at least initially, was less than stellar. Beyond that......there's nothin' new. Feels like one big, huge holding pattern, more than anything, and it's driving everyone nuts. I love my dad, I always have, I always will; but you know what? He's essentially past the "point of no return." There will be no massive improvement in the quality of his life, or his mental state, so everyone is just kind of.....waiting. Chaos, in some senses, seems almost perpetual. and my mind is filled only with the idea that if you can't live longer, and maintain your quality of life, and quality of mind, what's the point? And this is not an AIDS-esque "you did this to yourself" kind of sentiment, this is life; this just flat-out is bound to happen. I'm thinking now if I had the choice to live to be 75, and die with a sound mind, I'd rather do that than live to 100 and be basically insane. What might I miss if I died? Probably not much more than I would if I had just lost my mind and kept on tickin' for another 25 years, on balance. I know I've made some reasonable contributions to the world, and I will continue to do so as long as I possibly can. But given the nature of the human brain, some amount of deterioration is pretty normal after a while. And my thoughts, my perceptions.... what makes me me, will all be carried far into the future, vaulted safely within the confines of my daughters, and the students I serve. And if I ever reach the point of being of unsound mind, park me in front of the Golf Channel, and leave me the hell alone. Just let me die in peace.