I'm doing a lot of new things lately, reading books and seeing movies I either barely remember, or have never experienced at all. I finally finished Moby Dick, I watched "Funny Girl" with Barbra Streisand the other night, there's been a lot of things. As for "Funny Girl," I really related to Omar Sharif's "Nick Arnstein" character. For a long time in the movie, Streisand's Fanny Brice character overshadows his whole life, essentially, and he's okay with it; to a certain extent, one could even say he relishes being in her shadows, because being "Mr. Brice," as he's referred to at one point in the movie, less attention is paid to who he is, which is nothing so much as, well......nothing. He's a professional gambler, living the best he can from one deal to the next. But, as inevitably happens, I suppose, the day of reckoning comes, and the fact that he couldn't very well stand on his own, much as he'd like to, comes to light. He's embarrassed, ashamed of himself, and finds that he wants to be more autonomous, more "himself." It came to my mind that a lot of men, myself included, do tend to live this way, for whatever reason. I can't really pick any one thing to blame, but "Nick's" struggle to stand up for himself kinda hit a nerve with me. But not in a bad way, as a matter of fact, it was pretty much the exact opposite. Honest to God, I'm not here to make any woman struggle, but in retrospect, I can see where I have. And I can see that point in my own life where the desire was born to do otherwise. And I'm still trying to do otherwise, it's the only response I can conceivably have at this point, I think. What's the point of all this? Mostly that I didn't actually, physically say it, in so many words. I don't know if anyone could tell that I felt it, but there it is. I have dreams. I don't wanna be parasitic until the last shovelful of dirt is thrown over me. I wanna be bigger than I am, and have ever been. And I know I have the power. Take it as over-40 being "the intermission."