My children have been here for the last week, after spending a lot of time with their mother. Apparently, all in their house are facing their own challenges, too. Whether Lisa had to turn in her lease, and was unable to do so again, I don't know, but she's "hooptified" again, sporting a 2000-ish Ford Explorer with a sunroof, but apparently sans working air conditioning. Well, you know what the big attraction of being with dad is. But none the less, it's been a good week so far. Syd has been taking a pottery class at a studio nearby, and I've had a chance to just sit down and talk to Shelby, dad-to-teenager. I think I've even managed to crack the egg on that hardest-issue-for-parents-to-discuss with a child of theirs who's growing up; that's right, sex talk. It's a particularly hard subject for dads to get into with their daughters, but some of the more important successful points of the discussion were

• Acknowledge what she already knows, which may be substantially more than you want to imagine. But thanks to school health classes, the female menstrual cycle, and other impossible-to-avoids, a girl's knowledge of sex and her body, these days, at the age of 14, is more sophisticated than you figure.
• Make no mistake, it's always a question of virtue, but the bigger reason to push for her to wait when it comes to having sex is that there's more God-awful diseases out there than there have ever been before in history, so the larger point is that it's in her best health interest.
• Be aware that when you ask some questions, "The Girl Code" will be in effect, and seemingly, particularly to this dad, Korean was easier to decipher. And frankly, as women, I'm well aware that this code never goes away; it morphs into new forms, with new friends, but God forbid we as men should EVER know everything we need to in the name of communicating effectively with women.
• I'm also readin a book called Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, which is a very useful book, but which makes the point clear about the dichotomy in thinking between men and women. If a man knows he has a problem, his inclination, (surprise, surprise,) is to want to DO something about said issue. A woman's response to the same condition, frequently, would be to want to talk about the problem, which, frankly, accomplishes absolutely zip. The phrase "talk is cheap" came from somewhere, remember that. As did its corollary, "actions speak louder than words."

So the bottom line, really, is that effective communication starts early, and, of course, you hafta keep the lines open. Cheryl suggested writing the girls letters frequently, which I started doing, and which I will continue to do. It makes a difference; I probably wouldn't have had the week I've had thus far had I not at least started that way, although I was chided for my lousy handwriting by Shelby. Gotta work on that. What else? well, that'd probably be the freakin'-hilarious-comment-of-the-week, uttered by the Birthday Girl, Sydne; while describing an episode from one of their favorite You Tube Japanese anime series, she was talking about one of the characters, and somehow or other the issue of brassieres came up, and Sydne questioned this particular character's need to sport one on a regular basis, because she was, in Sydne's words, "as flat as a cutting board." Tells me everything I need to know, and then some. My baby's growin' up. At this point I'm just hopin' to be able to keep it real.