I just had one of those experiences with another driver that prompted me to want to scream directly into the ear of this inept idiot, "YOU ARE A MORON! YOU DO NOT DESERVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE, SAVE THE WORLD FROM YOUR MENACE AND BUY A BICYCLE!!!" The really big idea is that I now feel the need to go over Pete's Rules of Driving.

• Put the damn cell phone DOWN! No call is that crucial, barring that from a wife who is in active labor, that it can't wait for you to answer it.
• When you call a person, have a reason to do so. Using a cell phone as an anti-boredom tool, especially when driving, unconsciously prompts most people to drive at about 40 miles per hour, holding up traffic for God-knows-how-long in some cases. Attempting to text while driving is also a big no-no. GPS navigation creates similar insanity if you're trying to figure out where to go and listening to the little voice on your GPS unit and not focusing on your driving. In this case, it's best just to know where the he*l you're going before you're trying to get there.
• Tailgaters are the reason cruise control was invented, and I am NOT hearing from any of these "Drive Happy" or whatever the da*n slogan is, yahoos who believe it's polite to just pull off to the side of the road, and let the obnoxious tailgating as*hole go on their merry way. And don't you DARE have the gall to tailgate me and then flash your lights, or honk your horn, like I oughta let you continue being obnoxious. Being in a relatively polite part of Detroit, me, and invariably others, will merely vent with an obscene gesture; there are places in the world where that behavior will get you shot.
• Speaking of behavior that could potentially get you shot, Dearborn, Michigan is not the only place in creation with a largely Arabic population; don't get creative with a beach towel and sunglasses, as this could be a potentially ugly scene.
• At least when I'M driving, assume as a passenger that I know how to get to my destination, unless I have officially designated you the navigator, in which case I'd probably let you drive anyway. And my philosophy is that audio entertainment is Driver's Choice, so if I happen to feel like listening to my Turtles CD, or the 1812 Overture, go with it; you'll get your chance when you're driving.
• When you drive, BE DECISIVE! The open road is no place for wimps, especially not Detroit. When you pull out of a parking lot, GO! Because if I have to stop because you're driving like a wuss, and, worse than that, not even looking in the direction of ONCOMING traffic, I'm gonna be PIS*ED! And I will have every right to be.
• If you see construction signs that tells you that your lane is going to end at some point, MERGE INTO THE FLOW OF TRAFFIC A.S.A.P.!!!! Because I'm sure as he*l not going to be the guy to let you in if you wait until the two lanes become one. You'll sit, you'll wait, if you're having a really bad day, you'll overheat; and I will LAUGH myself silly, because you had MORE than enough warning that this was going to happen.
• We've all seen car accidents before, if one happens near you when you're driving, take a cue from the cops and KEEP MOVING! There really is nothing to see, don't snarl traffic anymore than it already is because of your macabre proclivities.
• Take this one from me, DON'T use the "authorized vehicle" turnarounds on the freeway if you happen to screw up and miss your exit; the ticket was called "Improper Crossing of Median" in Michigan, was about $145 ten years ago when I made this mistake. Best you should save yourself the cash and the headache.
• Common sense should tell you not to drive behind tanker trucks, trucks hauling roof trusses, or anything with a vehicle behind it sporting a "Wide Load" sign. If common sense doesn't tell you that, let me be the first to do so.
• If you're driving a U-Haul truck, limo, or something else you're not used to driving everyday, take a minute before you start moving, and make sure your mirrors are properly adjusted, and then WATCH THEM! You never know what else may sneak up around you. A little preparation and courtesy beats 5-to-20 for Involuntary Manslaughter, hands down. I really wish more people were in the habit of actually turning their head, and checking their blind spots before merging or changing lanes, but this is America. In Ann Arbor, you can't even get pedestrians to assume that you're going to stop because they're crossing the street.

Follow these simple rules, and I can at least tell you that you won't pi*s me off.