Sometimes words are funny; sometimes, not so much. It ain' about what you say, but how you say it, as they say. I learned this in a couple different ways lately. In an effort to be a right-thinking dad, and give my daughters a little advice about their futures, well, either it came out completely wrong, (entirely possible,) or they're just being the teens and tweens I know they are. (Also completely plausible as a explanation.) At any rate, in the wake of this, neither of them wants to see me, hear me, speak to me, whatever; which, as parents know, is a painful, gut-wrenching, unpleasant experience like no other. Also in the wake of this, right or wrong, I may indeed just end up eating a big slice of Crow Pie in an effort to put things right again. If I have to, I have to, and I chalk it up to learning, just like everything else in my life. And given that they're daughters of mine, as you might well imagine, when it comes to their mind-sets, the apple don't fall too far from the tree. Apparently, the best advice with kids still isn't about what you say, but what you do. On that count, I don't believe myself to have failed, except in falling victim to the same economic knee-capping that everyone else is suffering through in this economy. Quite frankly, I have to stop and wonder how well-placed any advice on a child's future is in this day and age; who the he*l knows?! Their future as artists and restauranteurs may be just as well-placed as the logic all of us Over-30s grew up with, that, unless they hit it big, and hit just the right nerve in popular culture, they're destined to be struggling forever. You never want that for your children. Overall, there can be far too many causes of unhappiness in the world; misplaced ambition, as we have all discovered through living life, can be as big a negative as poverty. If not bigger. The real objective in a properly lived life should be to be able to stand on your own two feet, make the right calls for yourself, and not live in the place we, as a society, seem to have gotten to. To say that the future is such a foggy, ambiguous mess right now that I don't think anyone knows which way is up is an understatement.

Our church's Father Theo, the Asian Indian, and resident comedian, started one of his sermons recently by talking about Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson going camping.
"Watson!" said the great detective, "what does it mean to you to look up and be able to see the stars?"
"Well," said Dr. Watson, "Astrologically, there are billions of stars, and possibly millions of galaxies, meaning the possibility is great that we are not alone as life in the universe. Theologically, it means we are insignificant; a mere speck in the eyes of God. Meteorologically, it means we are going to have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it mean to you, Holmes?"
"It means our tent has been stolen!" replied the great detective.

Finally, in the "only from the mind of a Klobucar" department, one of my nephews heard Cheryl and his mother talking about a program that operates through Detroit's Capuchin Soup Kitchen for ex-convicts and recovering substance abusers that teaches them about bakery operation, (making bread, etc.) "They're teaching monkeys how to bake?!" was his response, seemingly a little shocked at the concept. Yeah. Score one for pervasive genetics. And as I think about it now, the future has always been mostly in the hands of either the most creative, or the most necessary among us. Score another point for a new age of neo-Darwinism, with a twist of God, Whoever He may be to you.

8-foot-1-inch Turk crowned world's tallest man
Previous record holder, tired of the publicity, refuses to be measured
LONDON - A towering Turk was officially crowned the world's tallest man Thursday after his Ukrainian rival dropped out of the running by refusing to be measured.
Guinness World Records said that 8 foot 1 inch (2.47 meter) Sultan Kosen, from the town of Mardin in eastern Turkey, is now officially the tallest man walking the planet. Although the previous record holder, Ukrainian Leonid Stadnyk, reportedly measured 8 feet 5.5 inches (2.57 meters), Guinness said he was stripped of his title when he declined to let himself be measured.
"If this title had given me more health or a few extra years, I would have taken it, but the opposite happened, I only wasted my nerve cells," he said.
"If I have to choose between prosperity and calm, I choose calm."
Kosen, 27, told reporters in London that he was looking forward to parlaying his newfound status into a chance at love. "Up until now it's been really difficult to find a girlfriend," Kosen said through an interpreter. "I've never had one, they were usually scared of me. ... Hopefully now that I'm famous I'll be able to meet lots of girls. I'd like to get married."
Kosen is one of only 10 confirmed or reliably reported cases in which humans have grown past the eight foot (2.44 meter) mark, according to Guinness.
The record-keeping group said he grew into his outsize stature because tumor-related damage to his pituitary triggered the overproduction of growth hormones. The condition, known as "pituitary gigantism," also explains Kosen's enormous hands and feet, which measure 10.8 inches (27.5 centimeters) and 14.4 inches (36.5 centimeters) respectively.
The tumor was removed last year, so Kosen isn't expected to grow any further.
The part-time farmer, who uses crutches to stand, said there were disadvantages to being so tall."I can't fit into a normal car," he said. "I can't go shopping like normal people, I have to have things made specially and sometimes they aren't always as fashionable. The other thing is that ceilings are low and I have to bend down through doorways."
But he noted some advantages too, including the ability to see people coming from far away.
"The other thing is at home they use my height to change the light bulbs and hang the curtains, things like that."

Find a girlfriend? Get married? It's not entirely outside the realm of possibility, but the late Sandy Allen used her height to show schoolchildren that being that tall didn't necessarily mean you were a freak, just a very tall human. One with the same feelings as everyone else. A question, once again, of mind-set, I suppose.