Originally, I had meant to mention the words of that other famous Peter who just leaned out a window and screamed "I'm mad as Hell, and I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!" If my insides were metal, as many different directions as I'm being pulled in, I would literally explode. Then Cheryl told me she found my dad on the floor of the bathroom about 4 this morning, and that he had apparently been there for hours, having soiled himself in the process. Now the word is it might not be Parkinson's, the arteries in his brain might literally be so narrowed by artheriosclerosis that he's having mini-strokes fairly frequently. Or has, up to this point. And as she was telling me everything that was going on, and what the doctors are thinking, and how he's going to need that much more care and monitoring, that all faded. Then all I could think is "I want my daddy back!!!!" I want to know the man who taught me how to drive, and taught me, if not much else, how to be strong enough to carry on with your life when it all falls apart. That always was the man I loved; the big fan of Roger Whitaker and burnt peanuts. Yeah, okay, I can see where it's left him, but dammit, this was an ultimately able man. It pains me so much to see, and think of him this way, that I just cried this morning. There's still nothing I wouldn't do for him, but when he asks his wife of almost 25 years what the name of the girl she's living with is, when he still thinks at times that he lives in Milwaukee, well, it ain't good. I remember the first time I saw him, after what seemed like an eternal absence from my childhood, resplendent in his steel-blue three-piece-suit and matching striped tie, sitting in my Aunt Margaret's kitchen. I was overjoyed. Now I find myself having to help him get off the floor more often than I care to think about. And him laying on the floor for hours on end is not a first. Ergo, if you're contemplating adding anything to this mess, just back the hell up. As a post-script, my youngest daughter, I know, adores me to no end. She hugs me and kisses me, and wants to be with me. And still wonder what's next.