I've been on a little bit of a kick lately, hunting down images from my own childhood, and growing up, from the childhood of my children...you get the picture. The two that I found above are notable in their own rights. The picture of me and my dad? That's from the occasion of my college graduation, and constitutes the most joyous smile I have ever seen on the face of my father. I never saw it before that moment, and to my recollection, I have not seen it since. I know I would have remembered it. Below that is one of Shelby and Sydne, acting about as little like sisters as they probably ever have in their lives. I don't remember when it was from, but few other scenes can match it for a display of sheer, utter contentment. All of this brings me to a few larger points, in the sea of discord and upheaval that has occurred in the last five years of my life. Don't get me wrong, I'm still probably better now than I ever have been, but the storm goes on.

• If you've never been through a divorce, either as an adult or as a child, there is simply no way for you to understand alot of it, if, for example, you come into contact with it as a step-parent. As a child, divorce can mean chaos; having to move, trying to figure out why things aren't like they were, and how, if at all, you play into it. If the period following the divorce is somehow more tranquil, then, yeah, okay, it probably really was for the best. But stuff still happens, and you're probably never quite sure why. Which brings me to the next point.
• If you're the step-parent, unless, once again, the marital situation was so entirely dysfunctional that there was a question in the mind of the child about the identity of either of the parents, you're still stepping into something where the roles are established in the mind of the child. Mom is mom, dad is dad, and you are a relative newcomer, until the fact has been established that you're there, for real, for good, and in the best interests of whichever parent you happened to fall in love with. And expect it to take longer than you ever figured it would. I mean, think about it; this child, these children, have just seen a relationship which was supposedly loving, fall apart right in front of them. You couldn't blame any kid for being skeptical, angry, or otherwise mistrustful of you, until you've proven your mettle.
• From the point of view of the parent, the ink may be long dry on the divorce document, but the fact of the matter is that aspects of the relationship will always be there. Once again, as parents, the financial burden is unending, and the onus is on the partner in the relationship who was in the previous relationship. They have a financial obligation until that child is no longer a child. On the up-side, taking on that responsibility can make you a better person, but it takes some doing. Never mind the fact that aspects of visitation arrangements will have this person in contact with their former partner, once again, until the child is no longer a child.

All in all, you may want to think that it's just you and the other person, but the fact is that every part of the relationship takes acclimation, and accomodation, the likes of which you will never encounter as a person who has only ever been single before. Only in the stinkiest, most high-profile celebrity instances does "palimony," or anything similar come into play. I've said enough; the here and now is here, and now, I do have hope for the future, and thus far, I'd say my relatively "new life," has been a da*n good one. Which is not to say that situations have not arisen, and will probably continue to, for as we all know, nothing is so constant as change, but relatively speaking, things are better. What it will require of me, and everyone else around me, is that we all "surf it;" ride it out, to see it all to the best place anyone can be. The warm, tranquil waters of absolute serenity.