It is inhuman not to forgive another person's humanity. Period.Some around me still choose not to forgive, and as little as I like it, there ain't a whole lot I can do about it. But I know myself, and I know how far I've come, and believe me, it's a long freakin' way from where I've been. The rub is the people who wonder, "why weren't you there before?!" If it was (is) really Asperger's, this is a form of Autism; and if there's one thing I've learned about dealing with Autistics, it's that sometimes, if you don't get RIGHT IN THEIR FACE, and explain to them where they have blundered, they won't get it, period. Subtlety simply is not an option. There are other neurological anomalies that have not been handled the way the should have been, in a time frame that would have prevented a lot of heartache. There's still not a whole lot I can do to fix what happened in the past now. Yes, there have been times when I spit out social blunders like Watermelon seeds. At this point, I manage to keep my sixty-some Facebook friends: family, old friends, and those who, seemingly, life has caught up with in the same way it has with me. A few new friends. Not many, but some. I guess that's just not how I roll. I can actually follow along in conversation, and render an opinion about something besides the new BMWs, or whatever. ( I think the muscular look of the latest ones is out of place, really, BMW to me bespeaks a look like a finely tailored suit, and they're just not hitting it.) Overall, (and you know who you are, if I'm talking to you,) why are you choosing to blame me, to hold grudges, for the kind of stuff I haven't really been able to control? Why, exactly, are you doing this to anyone? As far as it goes with dad, this is a guy with full-blown dementia; he doesn't even know what year it is. And still that misplaced grudge. Still, no forgiveness. How dreadfully unappealing. So you're God, now, and feel no compunction in judging anyone this way?! You oughta be ashamed of yourself. I can't do anything but live day-to-day, and fix all the things I let pile up when I wasn't paying attention. And it was all my fault? The neurological anomalies, the agonizingly slow mental processing speed? I could have, and should have, fixed this all, or run the risk of all the heartache it would cause me on its own?! Well, lemme explain something to you; I have paid. I've paid in spades. I've paid in ways you, or no other person who lives outside of MY mind, will ever completely understand. So give it up. Nobody ever hurt you half as bad as you hurt yourself, so get over it. Get over YOU. As far as anything else, I'm done with the past, it's over, ain't a go**amned thing about it I can fix, except pay old bills, and forgive people myself. Which I've been trying to for quite a while now. I just keep on truckin'. Have I been misguided? Probably. Oh, well. I'm workin' on it. Nothing else I can say.