Dunno about you, but I have known the times God has been trying to get something across to me. And He's not always subtle about it. I think it's all part of my Jewish heritage, and Him being the wrathful, yet loving "Old Testament" God. The one time I had the temerity to demand proof, out loud, that He really existed....well, let's just say it involved a freak thunderstorm, and, ultimately, building materials for the church across the street. Needless to say, He got my attention right about then, and it stuck. (Can ya tell?) Today, I suppose, it was more like an email from God. Started out as just a normal subbing job, but all the classes got a presentation (no doubt because they were mostly high school juniors and seniors,) that college is not only necessary in this day and age, but ultimately very doable. And the guy was a great speaker. (I've seen quite a few good motivational speakers in high schools, imagine that.) He got my attention. On top of him, in the afternoon, was a presentation to some of the students about one of the local community colleges. Okay, Lord, I get it. I need to get on the stick, and get this whole educational thing squared away once and for all. If I ever want anything, if I aim to right the wrongs of my past, this is a necessity. And f*ck the idea that I should be afraid of what might happen. This now involves far too many people, and far too much of my own future. Forgive me if I still am still a little afraid, in this day and age, of what's gonna happen, but ya know what? I can tell at this point that He's got my back. If I was really gonna go up in ball of flames, I would have done it before now, probably in Korea, or someplace else. By now I should know of myself that I'm tougher than all that. Call me human. But once again, I get the message. I need not fear. Just get it done. That, apparently, is all anyone wants. Some days, I just hear myself saying, "fear is for the unenlightened." Which, I suppose, should always be followed up by what Martha said before I left for Korea; "then you have every reason to be afraid!" But I did it then. I can now. I must now. Wish me luck.