I haven't really had very much to write about lately, but boy, it can come around like a Catamaran. (if you've never sailed a Catamaran, don't try it the first time by yourself. You'll drown.) Last weekend was the first time myself, my brother and sister have all been in the company of my dad since, like, EVER. It's been a long time, anyway. Certainly one of the first times since dad--God, it's been a looooong time anyway. And despite the fact that everyone played nice, at least nice enough not to want to attempt to kill each other or anything, (I'm not convinced it'd be worth it, myself,) a lot is still smoldering. Which frankly, really sucks. The man is in the grips of dementia, whatever's done is done. And dwelling on the past is not going to fix anything. Mostly, I wanna believe I have lightened my emotional load considerably. I don't need the stress. Never mind the fact that my sister SMOKES; yes. The older sister Miss Vegetarian/Triathlete/Mitral Valve Prolapse sugery SMOKES. I was stunned. Drinks, eats meat, the whole nine yards. The only thing I don't think she's totally given up on is the idea that my father sucked. Well, be that as it may, yeah, he was a workaholic....generally speaking was he perfect? NO. But forget it; I'll be real surprised if he makes it to Christmas. Well, maybe Christmas. New Year's may be a question mark. He's going downhill pretty rapidly. and I'm also aware that I'm probably in no real position. Also don't get the wrong impression here, I love my brother, and my sister, but quite frankly, none of our perspectives on our childhoods is the same, nor will they ever be. I didn't grow up the same way they did, they don't live in my skin, and I don't live in theirs. Anyone can make any judgement that they care to, but it doesn't change an individual's, ANY individual's perspective. So my message here is the same as what I just said. Forget yesterday, because dwelling on it is not going to change a motherfu**ing thing.