Apparently, from almost everyone I come in contact with, there seems to be some misunderstanding about what the hell exactly could be bothering me lately. I'm gonna lay it out, and make this real simple; it's all about the Benjamins, baby. Money revolves quite a lot around all the relationships I'm in close quarters with, and the problems stem from there simply not being enough of them floating around me. Guilty as charged. I could cite primarily my ex-wife's seemingly over-large interest in them, above and beyond what's necessary. And what has she done in the instances, post-divorce, when she doesn't feel as though there's enough of my money floating around her? Plays games with the visitation schedule, finds other ways to make things hard to manage....the usual crap that would pi&s off any non-custodial father, particularly one who figures he probably could do a better job, in the absence of legal intervention, and with the assistance of some level of legal equanimity. And it'll be a cold day in Hell before any of that happens for any man. And, of course, then, being sucked dry by a first marraige makes any subsequent relationships hard to handle, because there never will be enough money floating around for anyone's satisfaction. Frankly, I fu*kin' give up; and everyone else might just as well, too, because particularly in this economy, there ain't enough floating around anyone, unless you've got a stockpile of it already. The latest chapter in the American financial mess means that if you're doing anything these days besides looking for a job, you're doing pretty damned well, because things don't look to get better before they get a hell of a lot worse. I'm pretty much scre*ed at this point due to the now-high-unlikelihood of getting any student loan money unless I sign my name in blood to someone, or just have the money up front. So if you're concerned about my financial situation, and wondering what's in my wallet......quick answer; moths. And if you're eager to have financial stake in my sorry hide, take a number, and don't be piling on until your number comes up. I have enough to worry about, and people essentially trying to get blood from a stone ain't makin' things any better. Which brings to mind something else; I know exactly the situation I, and everyone else in the nation is in; if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem, and as I cited above, that constitutes "piling on" to me. It's a penalty-worthy situation in a football game, and the same rules apply when dealing with me. Things will not end well. When things actually do get better sometime in the future, I will be as magnanimous as my hopefully-improved financial situation allows, no questions asked; until then, in the immortal words of Snoop Dogg, "Back da he*l up, or get smacked the he*l up." Not in any physical sense, of course, that would be well below my level of problem-solving ability, and my dignity; but do you really wanna know what a mind like mine is capable of when faced with a threat?! Thought not. I know people I've bought gifts for in the past, who don't want me to give them a hint, no matter how badly they want to know what I got, because of the mental torture it becomes. Bottom line items:

• I'm ADD, which essentially means my mind is clinically not normal; not in any way I myself can't handle, but I ain't your average bear.
• By virtue, or detriment of the above, I have never fit into any sort of "normal" working situation, particularly, nor will I. It just ain't in the cards, period. I've talked before about having to adjust my life to who I am, and that's just a fact. Adderall, nor any other other medication, is gonna make me "normal;" it's just gonna make it so my ADD isn't impossible to live with, and at some point in my life, maybe I can have some success overall.
• I've always liked who I am, and I particularly like who I've become; if you find something in all that that's distasteful to you, I suggest you learn to adapt, because I can only bend so far.

I don't figure I should have to defend the essence of who I am, or what I'm capable of, but apparently I do, and to the point that I have stated the facts here, and in my own mind, I will. Have a nice day.