Someone asked me recently what I thought "love" was. As far as I'm concerned, when asking a question like that, either be prepared for a long answer, or no real answer at all. In the interest of pithiness, however, I responded that it was either Romeo and Juliet, or King Lear. For the Shakespeare-impaired, love is either familial, and thus bounded by blood, or romantic, and walled by a self-interested passion. The person to whom I was speaking responded that there were degrees in between, and although that may be true to an extent, when delving into this "grey area," you would simply be well-advised to know where the lines are drawn. And believe me, they are most definitely drawn. Yes, it's entirely possible to have love for the guys or ladies you're in the habit of hanging out with, be they co-workers, fellow bowling league members, church friends, chat friends, whatever, but anything beyond what you're capable of, or what would be well-responded-to gets more and more aberrant by the moment. If it gets too weird, it just goes all Lifetime-movie, and everyone around is just gawking at it like the emotional train-wreck that it is. So this, at least currently, (and God knows, when it comes to my life, anything can change at a moment's notice,) is how it goes with me.

I also know that people level the accusation at me that I've been known to try too hard to keep things in check, particularly emotionally. After a life like mine, I think most people would have the same response. The ones who didn't are the ones they make Lifetime movies about. So, yeah, I'm private, and that which I'm willing to talk honestly about is pretty well delineated. I always hated Oprah, and Dr. Phil, and Jerry Springer, and the idea that everyone had to know everything about all of your dirty laundry; only if you happen to be running for public office. Then, apparently, nothing is off-limits, if the most recent presidential campaign is any indication. Otherwise, I will have my secrets, and maintain my relationships the way I see fit. And if something in all that doesn't happen to include you, assume that I felt that it was my da*ned business, and not subject to open public scrutiny. I despise being over-scrutinized, almost above all else. Everything else has already been said.

All that being said, of course, Love of God, I think, still tends to fall somewhere outside of everything else. Love of God can be as intense, as propituous and as life-changing, if not more so, than all the rest. And the nature of it is still very much soul-to-soul, being about as utterly non-corporeal as you can get. Notice I don't use the word "abstract" here, because it isn't; it's just not body-to-body. Perhaps something in that whole idea of being soul-to-soul with someone is what it's really all about; and the relative nature of love has as much to do with the body-to-body content as any other aspect. If that's the case, then why would you ever expect, not being in total physical contact with a person, to be in total emotional contact? I think the physical/emotional distance remains at a constant with most people, except for those, as noted above, about whom Lifetime movies have been made. And I'll stop there, lest I begin to sound like "PhD Candidate Barbie;" pull her string, and she goes on for three hours about Dysphasic Dementia, or the social heirarchy of Rhesus Monkeys. Ack.