Show of hands, how many out there figure they're at LEAST in a better position than I am myself to be taking care of a man who's basically slowly losing his mind? Granted, the financial toll is nowhere near mine, but I'm the one selected to care for my own father (by default, it seems,) because I have the most time on my hands, is that it? Perhaps the fact that Martha was already here while I was doing my job in Korea had something to do with it. WHAT?! Why the f*ck am I the one who has to pick him up off the bathroom floor if he happens to fall, hear him, with almost every word he says, lose touch with himself, and alternate, pretty much with Cheryl alone, over having a semi-normal life?! One where any right thinking boss could count on me to be there, every day, whenever necessary?! If you care about this man, if you care about me, SCREW the idea that you'd be put out, and let's have a bit more cooperation, shall we?! A bit more understanding of the situation? I detest the idea, but it's come to the point where someone has to be watching dad 24/7. I abhor having to be the one to see him like this; but to this point, if it's not Cheryl, it's me. As I have mentioned before, dad probably sleeps more than he should, simply because his spirit, that which has always made him who he is, is waning; fast. I'm quite aware that not everyone is in the position to make sacrifices, ergo I don't necessarily expect everyone to drop what they're doing and come to his (and my,) aid.
The key recognition that everyone must make is that the status quo, everything as it has been to this point, from dad's self-perception to the way he eats, has changed. If you have failed to note it, please do so. I know dad loves all his grandchildren, still; but it's positively IGNORANT to presume that Cheryl has the time and resources to devote to general provision, as even I know she's done in the past. Call it the way she was raised, call it anything you like, but God knows, as much as anything it was an expression of love. None the less I think it best that we all saw the family reunion as a swan song for things as they have been to this point. If you've missed THAT point, prepare for what may be ever harsher changes in the future, those governed by the idea that too much is already taking place. And consider this, from Cheryl's perspective; how would YOU feel, if, after almost 30 years together, the person you were married to, partnered with and trusted, was now the person you were merely appointed chief caretaker for?! What would it be like for the soul you had known all that time to slip away so utterly? How would YOU respond?! Would you be the same as you were?
On the flip side, from my own perspective, maybe I am the one most fit for this particular task at the moment. After all, particularly as far as my credentials are concerned, substitute teaching is still where I fit at the moment. Developmentally, that's just where I'm at. In the future, much may change. But the bottom line here, is that everyone here in Plymouth is stressed. Stressed to the max, by virtue of any number of things, dad's condition included. Anyone else who would care to pitch in would be more than welcome to do so, but if this line of thinking doesn't work for you, then at least have the courtesy to realize that, even what I used to be able to rely on as almost instantaneous accomodation is GONE, replaced by a more immediate necessity. Sad though it is, it's the truth, and things are going to have to change for everyone concerned. Take your pick, and recognize your options.