For whatever reason, and believe me, the reasoning of any such decision on the part of another person positively eludes me, I persist in having "locus of personal control" issues. Other people seem to take an immense interest in micro-managing me, despite the fact that they have almost no information with regard to the way I actually live my life. They notice almost immedately when I happen to screw up, which, of course, being human, I do from time to time. Does anyone recall the fact that I lived for almost a year, 7,000 miles away from everything and everyone I knew, managing to pay my bills, not get thrown out of my house, and not starve? All while making sure everyone else who was interested got paid? Yeah, that's what I thought. Anyway, I won't get into the sordid details of the latest entanglement, but suffice to say, in an economy such as the one we're experiencing at the moment, it's a move that would not be without its potential pluses; and I still encounter resistance. To be honest, the big idea that struck me was that, if you take responsibility for your own actions, and screw up, everyone knows who to blame; you. Same with any other person; if another person screws up, assuming they're of reasonably good character, they take the heat. Which then begs the question, why would you even attempt to exert control over another person? Are you that desperate to take the heat for their potential screw-ups? Seems to me your average right-thinking person would just say, "I've got enough issues of my own without taking on any more voluntarily, thank you very much." If your character is widely perceived as untrustworthy, that's another matter altogether. Even in a case such as that, show me the evidence; the continuous string of smashed cars, bounced checks, and other detritus of a life lived badly. And notice, I'm not talking about the here-and-there, every-once-in-a-while, everyone-makes-mistakes kind of thing. I'm talking persistent, almost daily, incontrovertible evidence that whatever person you're dealing with is a total, unworthy mess. Show me the strange phone numbers you've found in their possession. The Kwami-Kilpatrick-esque text messages you've come across on their cell phone. You come up with that, and I will happily join the battle to restrict their freedom by any means necessary. If you can't come up with all that.....do you simply not have enough issues in your own life?! Are you that angry, or paranoid or frustrated or whatever, that you've gotta look around and try and make things up? I've had middle school students who haven't attempted to do such things.

So let me make it clear; there is no such evidence when it comes to me. At least not anything current. Granted, I've screwed up massively in the past, to the point where I'm still currently paying for it all, in a very real way, every day of my life. I'll probably be a long time making amends, given that the string of my indulgence ran on far longer than it should have. Probably still not as far as some people are inclined to imagine, but far bloody enough. And I've seen the error of my ways. There's an old Bob Seger song called "Little Victories," where the lyrics remind us that sometimes personal rigidness is the last thing that's called for. The line that's always stuck with me is one about seeing trees in a windstorm, and how you "Watch the way they learn to bend/ With each breeze....." It makes the proper point. And granted, yes, sometimes trees fall in a windstorm; of course, some also stand, even in the worst of times. Quite honestly, I'll gladly bend to work with any person; to not do so is frequently the worse tack to take, whether student, child, parent or spouse. The times when others aren't willing to bend.....that's when the sh*t gets ugly. And then, any right-thinking person would once again feel the same. Court is always in session.